You know what really grinds my gears... That Gaddamn Negativity!

Growing up I never really thought of myself as a negative person. But more and more I know I have become just that. I'm trying to think of when this whole negative streak started and to be honest I can't really pinpoint when and how it came to fruition. I would say that many circumstances in my life have built me up to be that pessimistic person that you all know.... and love (yeah, right!) .

I think that I use the negativity as way to not be dissapointed. I would look at a situation and see how and where things could go bad. So in turn, I wouldnt be suprised when shit hits the fan. It was almost like self sabotage. It's like the old saying, "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst." Except that I would do it backwards by... "Preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best." I know it doesnt seem too different, but when your initial thought is negative instead of positive, it kinda sets the tone in a negative light.

I'm starting to believe that I am sabotaging myself by having this overall pessimistic outlook. To this point, I feel I must change my outlook on things. A whole life change is something that can take a lot of time and effort. But I've got all the time in the world...It's now time to show the effort. Positive thinking can go a long way... Hopefully, it can go a long ways to getting me this gaddamn job.

...and that my friends is whats grinding my gears!